Lorenzo: Living and Kicking @ 17 (Self-Concept)

            “I was once weak, I was always afraid, I hidden [hid] my tears, but I kept on going, I kept on believing, I followed my heart, I found my courage, and I realized if I hadn't believed in myself, then I wouldn't have become the person I am today” – Erza Scarlet, Fairy Tail anime.

            Everything in this world goes to some sort of changes, changes that may help people to improve their own life or to let their existence to be just a trivial of its own nature. I have experienced things that made me strong and believed in my own perspectives. Also, incidence wherein I breakdown and just looked upon the sky and told myself ‘why?’

            Many people told me that my boldness is always go beyond my limitation and sometimes destroys boundaries of others emotion, but, they don’t even know my story before.

            Way back those times when the sword of my life is in the flame of blacksmith’s hands,  I am also been a victim of a mediocrity bullying that the only way to survive from having fallen out is to put myself under the limelight and above the stardom. The ambitious way to go there is to achieve things beyond on what they can achieve.

            Now, the former intimidated and frightened child already knows how to fight and to surpass others in a way I can. I already learn how to impair others feelings. I already find out how to defend myself from the deteriorating strikes of the people and environment around me. Because, in this generation, I believe that survival of the fittest is still finest.

     It is not bad to exchange blows in what we believe and what we want to be if pride really matters as long as we know what are the pros and cons of what we are fighting for.

            However, despite of its having revengeful tone to endure, revenge is not my primary way to be the person as whom I am today. It is more of being proud to garner the pleasure that I am holding and lingering to every aspects of my verve. And also, to let myself accept the concept of being part of the society of people who only know how to be strong enough, those who have pride in their selves. Pride and pleasure are also significant to one’s life.

            In any aspects of life, my pride will always stays right inside of me in a way that whatever my decisions in life goes through I know that this part will hold and guide me. It will always be part of my principles that whoever try to downgrade it, I’ll always fight for it.

            It is not bad to exchange blows in what we believe and what we want to be if pride really matters as long as we know what are the pros and cons of what we are fighting for. I will not be a person of who I am today if the pride that I am carrying now isn’t been gained from my childhood experiences – whether it is a success or it is a failure.

            But still, I am a child, a friend, a son and a person who still need and still want to experience the three most important things in life – faith, hope and love – without the essence of my pride, my impermanent pleasure and my own boldness in heart. Experiencing those importance, it will always stay to be the most relevant dream in the world in order to achieve the reality of happiness that a simple person like me wanted to become the person of it for tomorrow.

            Although I know that decision sometimes is the hardest to make, especially when it’s a choice between the paths of pride without happiness or of happiness that will perish pride. I think in my 17 years of living and kicking as Lorenzo, I think I need more years and decades of living and kicking to find the right way of my life’s own concept.